I'm a shitty blogger.

So, it's been forever since I wrote anything. I'd love to say there's a really good reason for that, but there are only crappy little reasons nobody wants to hear.

We did have a long month of disease, as my children are the most adorable petri dishes you will ever meet. The only thing they willingly share is germs.

I also got new furniture, which sounds great until you take into account that I have yet to re-home the old furniture. My living room looks like a yard sale.

So, good news and bad news. The good news is the new couches are wonderful to sleep on. The bad news is that I have been sleeping on them for weeks. The reason for this is that my husband and I were both on nature's shitlist this winter and when the kids got sick, they dragged us down with them. There has been much coughing (both of us) and loud snoring (him only, I hope) that has caused significant disturbance to a good night's sleep. We figured out that we both get better sleep if we're not coughing/snoring at each other. This actually works, and we've been able to live up to our respective responsibilities despite being sick as hell.

The really bad news in all this is that our sex lives (life?) swirled down the shitter. We've barely been anywhere near each other for quite some time, and as I was the last one to be put on a mega-dose of antibiotics, I imagine it will still be a while before things are back to normal(ish).

My biggest fear at this point is that once I try to move back into my own bed, I won't be able to sleep. I've had a moment or two in the last week where I've found myself wondering what idiot came up with the moronic idea of sleeping next to someone in the first place. The sleep has been so much better, even being on the couch, that I don't think I ever realized his snoring disturbed my sleep THAT much. We tried it out the other night, and I woke up in the morning exhausted and looking like hell. Or, more like hell than usual. He keeps telling me how much he misses me sleeping next to him and I keep making noncommittal noises. I can't think either of us get much out of it, since we're sleeping. I've thought that maybe somewhere down the road we can get separate bedrooms. We can meet in one or the other to have sex and then go back to our rooms to sleep. I won't disturb him with my reading and he won't make me feel homicidal over his snoring. Everybody is rested in the morning, he has no bruises, and I don't feel honor-bound to snarl at anyone over the coffee pot. Right?

Have you seen this?

http://health.newsvine.com/_news/2010/11/12/5456235-hpv-shot-dilemma-should-gay-boys-be-targeted#comments

I think the chosen language is......something, but if you really want to be entertained, you should read all the comments. The contributors swing fairly widely from wholesale agreement to base disgust. The disgust reactions are my personal favorites as the reasons are all so bizarre. Some disagree based on the "fact" that vaccines are all bunk, some because we shouldn't be trying to save people who engage in anal sex, some because it opposes abstinence teachings.

I generally disagree with all of them. It is physically much more risky to have anal sex than vaginal for a very simple reason. The anus is not a self-lubricating orifice. Causing friction and stretching to an orifice that is not self-lubricating causes tears. Tears invite infection. It's literally that simple.

You might think (me being Christian and all) that I have something against anal sex. You'd be wrong, I quite enjoy it. I also don't care about the millions of gay guys out there having anal sex because, hey, that's their business, and if I like it so much, why shouldn't they? Why shouldn't anybody? I'm a huge fan of sex and while I think it pays to be careful (both with your body and your emotions) I could never hold having lots of sex against anyone. I'd most likely be doing it myself if I weren't married. It's that fun.

I'm not a huge subscriber to the current varieties of abstinence training because I think they, like all other forms of sex education, fail miserably to give complete information. I believe that if we made sure people were better informed of the risks they would be better able to make safer decisions for themselves. How many people out there know that there are STD's against which condoms are useless? How many people know (in real numbers) what the failure rates of birth control are? How many people know what STD's actually LOOK like? I love the idea of safe sex, unfortunately, liking the idea doesn't make it realistic. It's not, it's a myth. They should call it Safer Sex, or Less Risky Sex or something like that. Because SAFE? That's something it will never be.


I especially loved the comments by parents stating that they wouldn't get their kids vaccinated since their kids weren't having sex yet. I had to giggle, even though it was rude. How the hell do you know? My kid isn't yet 10 and the best I can do is "I'm pretty sure he is not yet having any kind of sexual contact." Granted, he is with adult supervision 98% of the time, but boys in school bathrooms have been known to do weird and unexplainable things for, I don't know, forever. I could be totally wrong. In my case, I would vaccinate him, if I could afford it at the moment. I could explain to him a million times over how dangerous physical contact of a sexual nature can be, but if so many adults I know can't control their hormones (me included), how fair is it for me to expect him to? I'm already fairly certain that he engages in some form of masturbation (perfectly healthy and normal) so I'm sure trying to touch someone else isn't that far off.

It blows my mind how many people there are out there that just HAVE to assign some kind of moral meaning to a vaccine designed to prevent cancer. HPV certainly isn't the first virus to cause cancer and I doubt it will be the last. I don't think the vaccine will give kids a feeling of freedom to have sex, or at least any more than they already have. Education prepares kids for life, it follows that education should prepare them for sex too, given that sex is a part of life and basically everyone has sex. The parent population certainly should be spending more time making sure that sex education is at a high standard, but we should also be putting more effort into teaching our kids to respect their own bodies (which are truly a gift from God), the bodies of other people (same), and sex in general(also a great gift). If you want to get your moral panties in a wad, pick something worthwhile, like the clothes they market to little girls or the current lack of decent role models in the world. Or better yet, why so many parents aren't trying to BE those role models.

I wish they could come up with vaccines for lots of diseases. If they figured out how to vaccinate AIDS I would jump for joy. I'd love to see Leukemia eradicated. And, oddly enough, I've seen parents who were totally against vaccines crumble in the face of a sick kid. It's different when it's your family on the line, when the person suffering is dear to you.

On that note, I just have to say that I'm glad that I'm married (not that married sex is necessarily safe sex either. I'm not stupid.) and that I can be perfectly slutty, promiscuous, kinky and weird in the (relatively) safe borders of that relationship. I'm glad that I have reached an age that seems to have come with clarified morals, and a better sense of what's really important in life. I am glad that I have learned not to judge people, and that I now know that we are all the same, both in God's eyes and in our own reality, even if we choose not to see it. I'm glad for a lot of things, but mostly at the moment, I'm glad I don't know any of the people who commented on that article.

The Point?

So. I am inspired these days to ponder issues of sexuality in general, and these issues as they apply to those of the Christian persuasion in particular.

I'm bothered by the idea that Christians, especially women, are supposed to have some sort of stifled, boring sexual identity. In general, I think we are seen (as far as the world at large is concerned) as chaste, proper creatures that aren't supposed to talk about sex, think about it or really enjoy it.

I disagree.

All my adult life, for whatever reason, I have seen no reason not to talk about sex. I have discussed it in detail with male and female friends, and I've never felt like I shouldn't. It's a fascinating and fun topic and I learn just as much as I share. The truth is that sex exists in the life of every single person we see and it doesn't much matter if we prefer to pretend that's not the case, as we often do. I'm not saying I wonder about the sexual escapades of my coworkers (just occasionaly) or that I imagine every person I see in the grocery store naked, I'm just saying that sex is part of all of us.

I often wonder about the parts of our sexual identity that we hide. Why are we driven to hide our fantasies, fetishes, or preferences from others? Is it society? Media? Family or friends? I'm not sure, but I'd like to find out!